Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Our Desires—Written January 14, 2013


Dear Family,
         Transfers came today and I will be staying here with Sister Siemens in Auburn! I also got what corny missionaries call a "trunky planner" this week. And inside there are these hidden secret notes from my MOM! (How did you do that!?!?! Sister Garfield is SO sneaky! Haha) This week was incredible. I have been reflecting a lot on what I want this last transfer to be like and what kinds of things I want to do with the time that I have left. This week we taught a lesson to our investigator Angelina, who was just baptized this past week. We turned together to Alma 32 where we read not only about faith but also about "desire." I have been privileged to have been with her in this process and to have learned so much from her perseverance. When asked if she believes God loves her... at times (hard times) the answer has been, "No, how could anyone KNOW that?" She may even make reference to that warm feeling and say, "How do I know it’s not just a flux in temperature or that I am not just making it up?" To be honest I have asked myself the same question at times. But I am so grateful for the scriptures. He tells us that if we can only but muster a "DESIRE to believe" then (of our own free will) we must CHOOSE to let this desire work in us. I have seen in my own life, my companions’, and those we speak with... they are right on the cusp. They are so close to being able to feel of God's love and that quiet confidence that comes as we heed His still small voice. But it is and always will be their choice.
         The baptism went great this past week. We had several of the people we have been meeting with come out to see it. Roger and Denise are a newly married couple we are meeting with. His wife is a member but he is Catholic. The Blotti's were there. Sister Elliott got to come back and visit. Greg and Liz were there and then came to church the following day. They went out and bought all new church clothes. As we meet with them. It seems like EVERYTHING we say just makes his face light up. He glows. He grins from ear to ear. When he hears the truths of the gospel. When he hears how families truly can be together forever... it resonates with him. Liz was sharing with us that in preparing their vows... they always felt wrong about putting in "till death do us part." The words they chose to replace it with was, "throughout all eternity." When they shared that story with us... my heart was so full that words can’t describe. There truly are people that search. People that have had the truth implanted in their hearts and yearn and hope that their desires will come true. But, as we know from Alma, that desire, coupled with the truth... turns into a faith. Turns into a comfort and knowing that we truly will be able to be with our families again. I know that this church is true. But I haven't always known it. In fact, the world can distract us and can confuse us and can stifle the answers that we may otherwise receive from a loving Heavenly Father. I know, through serving others, that God lives. That no matter how far away we may turn from Him or the many times that we may doubt His existence or the expanse of His love... He is real. His love is simple and if we can just desire to believe in Him. Desire to know this "comforting" feeling that others speak of. Then, as we let that desire work on us and move us to our knees, we will feel of His love. He truly will become an anchor for us in our lives. We will feel calmer, less frazzled. We will have more hope. We will look forward to a life with Him and we will serve all those around us on our journey.
         Did I ever tell you that I LOVE being a missionary? Well I do. And I love the gospel. And I am REDICULOUSLY grateful for all the people that have put up with me over the years and loved me. I am grateful for my sweet family and I love you all to death! On my trunky planner that Sister Garfield made for me it says, "Forever Green." Which I find to be an extremely fitting not only for my mission, but my life. I remember first getting here and a missionary telling me that my "Greenie Fire" would eventually wear off. I remember wondering why it would "wear off." Because "greenie fire" simply means to be excited about the gospel. Well I AM! And I hope to be that way forever. No matter what challenges I may face in life. I know that the Lord will help me and comfort me. You’re all the best! I love you all!

Love,
Sister Mitchell            

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